Being Perfect & The Exception to the "Sequel" Rule
Willits's Weekly Wonderings Four (4.2)
Good Afternoon-
This past Sunday, my older brother sent me and my sister the following text message:
Had to choose between buying grumpy old men or grumpier old men. Went with the second, for now. Good decision?
I responded in the affirmative, as Grumpier Old Men is one of three* exceptions to the "sequel rule," (i.e. a film's sequel is never as good as it's original).
Before detailing further into the other exception, I wanted share about an interesting article I read about student anxiety. Student/adolescent anxiety is a growing concern (as evidenced by the fact the article was written in 2014). The article sheds light on one (of the many) reasons student/adolescent anxiety is increasing:
Anxiety can come from perfectionism. Perfectionists see mistakes as proof they are unworthy. Fear of failure may cause them to avoid a task entirely.
Onto the other exception . . . Let me provide three hints to one of my all-time favorite films, watched enough times growing up to have the whole film memorized. See if you can guess it.
As previously stated, this movie is an exception to the "sequel rule."
I was born in 1983. (Does that make me a millennial?)
This movie is part two of a trilogy.
I will save my arguments for why The Karate Kid II is the exception to the “sequel rule" for another time and turn instead to The Karate Kid III. Did you even know there was a third rendition of the film? I am not referencing The Next Karate Kid (bad), nor the 2010 remake with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith (not as bad), but The Karate Kid III . . . as in part 3. I readily admit, The Karate Kid III is a horrible film, except for: 1)-the music, which is done by the same guy in all three films (Bill Conti, who is the same guy who composed the music in Rocky among many others); 2)-the mentor/mentee relationship between the main two characters; and 3)-the end, which not only consolidates points one and two, but offers wisdom applicable to the current discussion on perfectionism and anxiety. Here is the clip (disclaimer: the film is rated PG, but one colorful four letter word shows up in this scene four times):
The Karate Kid III end scene (2:40)
What Mr. Miyagi tells Daniel in his most stressful/painful moment is the same thing we need to tell our adolescents:
It’s okay to lose to an opponent. You must not lose to fear.
The fear Mr. Miyagi is referencing is the same fear the article referenced above, which keeps (anxious) teens from engaging in tasks for fear they might fail. This fearful non engagement is unhealthy for many reasons, but fundamentally, it keeps us from learning/growing. Here is what Seth Godin says about learning (i.e. failing) in this video clip (0:58):
The difficulty comes if you are not open with the tension of being stupid, you can’t possibly learn.
While not addressing it directly, I think Godin’s “not open[ness]” is fueled by the same fear of failure Mr. Miyagi is coaxing Daniel to defeat.
If Mr. Miyagi and Mr. Godin are not convincing enough, perhaps best-selling author Brene Brown and Oprah Winfrey discussing the dangers of perfectionism (and its contradiction to the genuine pursuit of excellence) will sway you.
Let’s help our students defeat fear, embrace uncertainty, pursue excellence and abstain from being . . . perfect.
I love being your student's school counselor. If there is something you want me to know to do it better, please hit "reply."
Grant W. Willits
5-8 School Counselor
(712)722-3783 (x2120)
*The last exception has always been presented to me as fact, which I have never found contentious since the Godfather films (The Godfather: Part II > The Godfather) were a little before my time. Karate Kid III. Did you even know there was a third rendition of the film?
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